Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
