My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I wish I only lived at night.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
