Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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