I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
