Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
