Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
