if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize