Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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