He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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