well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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