I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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