playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
