I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Tell her she can't have a vagina
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
