Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
