how can u be prego again
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
