U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
