what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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