stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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