I'm really into asian looking animals
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
