You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
