Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
