Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
