yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize