do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
