google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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