I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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