All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
