Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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