You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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