At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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