I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
