scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
