I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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