and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Randomize
