you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I think my moral compass just broke
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
