I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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