your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
