Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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