how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
