Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
