Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
