She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
