he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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