they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
