Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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