i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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