I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
