We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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