I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
