When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
well you can't waste a boner
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
