this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I know her cup size but not her name....
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