I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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