I just pynch a tree in the face
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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