I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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