I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
