our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
