I hope mine doesn't look like that
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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