So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
