Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
