I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
