I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
