I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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