Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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