My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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