Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
