yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
