I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
