Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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