i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
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