we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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