My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
