every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
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