Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize